We have all experienced grief in some form or another. Sometimes we feel it directly, and other times we experience it as a witness to someone else's grief. Either way, we are familiar with it and have heard that there are stages to grief. I do not discount those stages. They are in fact quite accurate. I do not think there is a time frame for people to move through the stages. Some can navigate through them easier than others. There is no right or wrong way. I do believe that lingering too long in grief can be detrimental and at some point, seeking a grief counselor is beneficial if your grief is preventing you from daily activities and engaging joyfully in a meaningful relationship.
All that said, grief does move in waves. A particular sensory event can trigger your grief to resurface. When this happens it can be surprising. Today was one of those days for me.
As many of my readers know, my furbaby Little Bear crossed over in June 2019. It was the most devastating loss for me, that I experienced up to that point. I was a sobbing mess and completely useless in helping my daughter through her grief. Thankfully, she is an adult and has a great support system with her friends. I do believe I feel things more deeply as an Empath. This does not mean other people's grief or feelings is less. Their grief is just as valid as mine. As an Empath, it can be difficult to separate my feelings from someone else's. In the days that followed Little Bear's passing, I was with him in spirit and communication, helping him transition and selfishly keeping him close for our mutual comfort. It is what we both needed. I felt the shift in energy when he fully transitioned. I have been blessed to be able to communicate with him over the past few years. In fact, it was through this communication that I was given the information from Little Bear to write "Finding Joy: A Dog's Tale". One might say That I have moved through my grief and healed. So what happened today?
The short answer is "I don't know". I woke up fine, had my breakfast, held an animal communication session with a client, got ready for the day, and then boom! I missed him. I missed him more than on a regular day. I asked Little Bear to come with me on a walk, and he told me to go to this particular park that I have not been to in years. I hesitated, but have learned that when I get a message I need to honor that message. So, I went to the park and had an entire scenario in my head of finding an abandoned animal and rescuing him/her. I mean, why else would Little Bear tell me to go to this particular park?
I met quite a few dogs along my walk, but all were attached to their humans. It was fun to be greeted enthusiastically by so many cute dogs, but as I walked to my car the grief came over me like a wave and I cried. I am past the point of caring what other people think. I sat in my car, put music on, and cried. When I was done, I drove home a different way and enjoyed the beautiful fall foliage of the season. Now, back home, I feel better. I don't know why the wave hit. Maybe it was to remind me to get out of my routine, see something new, get outside and meet new people and their companions. Whatever the reason, I know to go with the flow. Life is a series of ebbs and flows. Waves wash over us. Tears help cleanse us. Whatever it is, I feel better and am thankful for communication with the animals, especially my Little Bear. Below is Little Bear in one of his halloween sweaters.