Life can be such a whirlwind! We move from one thing to the next, fluttering about our days in an endless cycle of tasks and to-do lists and wishes. Most of us are trying to get by and make life work while scheduling time for fun and relaxation. If we do not carve out that time, "POOF", it is gone, taken over by a forgotten chore from yesterday's list. Somehow, even while we are disappointed at not doing anything for ourselves, we justify it as "this is life". But is it really?
I generally tend to avoid the cycle of work to live and live to work. However, as a business owner, it becomes hard to do that. The business is a 24-hour job requiring constant attention and planning. Every day is spent thinking about it, planning for the next thing, social media posts, accounting, etc. It cannot be helped if I want the business to succeed. I accept this because I chose to have the business. Most times, I am okay, but sometimes, I do feel overwhelmed. I get disgusted that I haven't "carved" out that time for enjoyment. I make plans and then have to cancel them because I am either too tired, or something work-related came up. I am sure many people can understand this and live it, right? It isn't JUST me, and somehow, that makes it seem "normal".
Yesterday was especially hard on me emotionally. I was feeling all kinds of things and trying to put each fear and emotion in perspective. By the time my day was done and I was ready to go home, I felt pretty resigned to just hiding under the covers. When I pulled into the driveway, my landlord was coming back from his walk with his two dogs. The older girl, stopped and waited for me to approach so she could say hello. The younger boy was leaping around enthusiastically. She positioned herself to block him so I could give her a proper hello. In those few moments, I felt the tension leave my body. We all walked inside together, and as the boy and landlord opened their door, she snuck inside my apartment. I told the landlord it was ok, I could use a visit. He agreed and said to let her in whenever she was ready.
It turned out that she stayed with me most of the night! After some exploring, a drink of water, and a couple of treats, we settled into the living room to relax and watch some TV. C, as I will call her now, fell asleep pretty quickly by my feet. My daughter and I commented on how she looks older and needs her rest more. That resonated with me. I reached down and gently pet her while she was sleeping. My daughter and I laughed at her snoring. She was out for the count!
At bedtime, C was still with us. I asked her if she wanted to go home, and she licked my face and lay down. I kept C company, sleeping on the couch. While it was not very comfortable, it was one of the best nights of sleep I have had in a long while. If I moved position, C moved so that she was close to my face. She rest her head near me, and then lay back down to sleep. Occasionally, I would wake and drop my hand down to touch her. and her snoring would stop and she gave a satisfied groan. When I whispered that I loved her, she leaned up and kissed my face.
C eventually went back home at 5 am. I crawled into bed for a few more hours of sleep and felt like I was visited by an angel. C being the angel. Her visit was a beautiful reminder of how much comfort animals bring us. Somehow, I don't think she visited because of her needs. I believe she did so because she knew that is what I needed. C was very good friends with my dog Little Bear. She cried (visibly ) when he passed and has been extra sweet to me since. C gave me comfort just by being with me. No expectations, no requirements, only to be present in her company.
That is the beauty of animals. They know what we need and offer it to us unconditionally. What we have to do is be open to receiving the messages they send.
C's message was clear to me. Relax. You are not alone. Breathe. I'm here for you.
Thank you, C. Thank you Little Bear, for I know you also had a hand in this. To my readers, please take her messages as your own. Make time to relax. You are not alone. Breathe. I'm here for you (even if virtually we are all in this experience together). One love.