Writing Finding Joy: A Dog's Tale was an act of love and healing. After the passing of my best friend, Little Bear, the pain I felt and the tremendous loss that I felt was unbearable. I communicated with Little Bear constantly to make sure his transition was smooth and he was ok, but also for my own benefit. I missed his physical presence.
One morning upon waking, I had a sudden sense of urgency to write down my experiences with Little Bear. I wasn't sure what I would say, or what I wanted to include in the story. I thought of it more as journaling, which is a great tool for healing. As is my style, I sit with an idea for a while before jumping feet first. For a few days, or maybe it was a few weeks (everything is cloudy about that time), I mulled over the idea of writing down my story with Little Bear. I tossed around a few ideas, I thought about specific events. Yet, nothing really seemed to jump out at me. So, I hesitated even though this sense of urgency was still very persistent.
My conversations with Little Bear continued. The pain in my heart, though still there, lessened. I tried very hard to continue my daily routine, sans the walks with Little Bear and all Little Bear related things. I was shocked to find how much "free" time I had to myself without him. I cannot say I enjoyed the free time, it was a cruel reminder of my loss. I remember going to bed one evening, crying silently again. Visualizing that Little Bear was in his usual spot on the bed next to me. For the first time in a while, I literally FELT him beside me. I know without a shadow of a doubt, that he was laying next to me in Spirit. It was this night that the story unfolded. I had been thinking of it wrong. The importance of the story was not in MY experience with Little Bear, but rather Little Bear's experiences in life! The urgency I felt was not because I needed to write it down, rather, it was because Little Bear needed me to write his story and relay his messages
The next morning I got up feeling somewhat less heavy, and after my morning meditations and Reiki, I sat at the computer and allowed Little Bear's messages to flow through me. This was so exciting for me! It felt wonderful to hear him so clearly and with such detail! I was also very interested in learning things about him that I did not know.
So, you may be asking what the title of this blog "exposed" has to do with anything. Simple. In relaying Little Bear's thoughts and story, I allowed his commentary on my life as he saw it and knew it to be. For a moment before publication was final, I hesitated because I did feel exposed, somewhat vulnerable. Little Bear assured me it was fine, and sometimes he even became impatient with me. lol He always gave me the push I needed.....and clearly, he still does.
While I still miss Little Bear tremendously, I do have peace knowing what he describes as Joy. Finding Joy: A Dog's Tale is Little Bear's story, but also his gift to me and to all humanity. I hope you are open to reading it. One love.